So my Halloween cards are officially finished. They are due in class this Wednesday. I am sure glad that I finished them when I did. So many people in our class are scrambling to finish theirs and the press room is a zoo.
I am actually not that happy with my cards. Anyone that knows me knows that I am a perfectionist just like my father. They also know that I am way too hard on myself and I have a hard time letting go. These cards just didn’t come out as great as I wanted them to or as good as I have seen others. I have been working on this project for weeks and weeks. I guess I am just disappointed that here it is at the end and I am just not satisfied. It wasn’t a waste though. It is not like I wanted them to look like a computer print. I actually like the distressed feel on some, and they look letter pressed. I feel like my design was outstanding and my concept was very strong. When it comes to execution and craft especially on this project, I always seem to fall short. I shouldn’t be surprised. This is something I have struggled with for almost 10 years. I use to get upset, then almost accept it. Now I guess I feel like I am how old? I have been in this major how long? I should get the hang of this by now. But if you also know me, you know that I am the type of person where I have to excel at everything, and if it is new, I have to pick it up right away or I feel ashamed or not good enough. Again, this is something I have struggled with my entire life.
Weeks ago my friend took me to a paper place called Hollows in Northern Ohio. I picked out some paper and for sure thought I had enough. I bought only 40 sheets since I could run two up on a sheet for my cards, and also I was short on cash. That is 80 cards, plenty to run since we only needed 30 to turn in. Weeks go by and I go in frequently to work on my type in the art building. I have the most type on my card compared to anyone in the class, so I would come in on weekends or after classes and catch up on time, composing the type as quickly and efficiently as I could. I wanted the challenge of working with a lot of type for the experience. One weekend in particular, a faculty member stopped by to see what I was working on. When I showed him a computer layout of what my card would hope to be, he really liked it. He then commissioned me to make him 20 cards and needed them in a week. I was floored because he committed to these cards and I had never even ran the press before once. Who knows if my design would even work out. I have been in the press room every night the last week in a half between 3-7 hours trying to figure out the presses and how to make a card. I also realized I should have bought more paper. Our professor said you will probably need to run three times the amount to get the amount you actually need to come out right. So logically I needed 50 cards, so I would need 150 sheets to run. I had 80. Talk about pressure. I had little to no room for error. What a way to start a first project and first experience running a press. He needed these by the end of the week. I felt so overwhelmed.
I learned so much from this experience. I learned what I can and can’t really do, and also about my physical endurance. I had no idea that letterpress could be so difficult and demanding. Some nights I came home completely exhausted mentally and physically. It is a lot to keep the press going, inking, setting out paper and doing this over time and time again. I have been covered in ink daily and even ruined some clothes. I have bruises from the press all over my arms and legs too from the rollers and stopping the roller with my leg. The amount of time involved is absolutely insane. Some students told me it would actually be a miracle if we got prints at all because the place is an absolute mess and so dirty. You really have to be able to adapt to the environment and also not be claustrophobic. Students and the public come in and out and walk through freely since there are no doors really in the art building, just spaces. There is no room for 18 kids to put up all their prints, so we are stepping over prints and trying to not drop ink on others on the floor. How anyone keeps anything clean in this environment is unbelievable. Plus we all are worried about other students or the public coming in and stealing our work. It has already happened this semester.
I had a lot of fun as well doing this project. I learned again how to carve linoleum blocks and also how not to catch them on fire in a microwave like I did with one of them. I learned about the quirks of the individual presses that I tried. I learned to listen to the paper, the rollers, and the ink. I could listen and know exactly if a paper would snag even before it happened. I could hear if a roller was out of place or the type had shifted. I got it down to a science of how much air to let get to the rubber based ink I was using before it was just the right consistency to roll on. I also listened for how tacky or smooth the ink got, and could tell as I rolled it on what type of print I was going to get. It got to the point that I could smell a tin of ink and tell how old it was and if it was good to use I was there that long. I learned quickly how much pressure to put behind the cylinder to achieve the desired “bite” or depression on my paper. I even caught on to what type of brayer I should use to maximize or minimize the ink on different sections on the card. Even the paper choice I put in the press affected everything about the quality and how much ink was soaked in. I am so excited that my previously experience with printing and my over all persistent and determined attitude helped me out tremendously in this task. If anything, I learned so much for the next project and have already made some critical decisions and adjustments to my future design.
I had no idea how long it took to lock up a design on the press bed. I made measurements and diagrams and sometimes flat out ran a test print and worked off of that. Anyone who knows anything about offset or letterpress printing knows that if you have to make little adjustments here and there and take your time to get everything registered just right.
So why am I disappointed? All of the things I mentioned above are things I taught myself and learned extremely quickly. I am proud that I accomplished so much in such a little timeframe. In the end, the cards aren’t terrible but I feel like I could have done a lot better. As a perfectionist, I have been studying the cards and noticed that out of 80 cards, the type on the inside of 75 are crooked. I started to get so upset and wanted to know if it was something I could control. What is hard about these cards and the ink is that I can’t do them all at one time. I ran the backs of the cards one night and had to leave them out to dry. The next night, I ran the same side again to add type that was placed over where a linoleum print had previously been. Since the cards were still drying, the next night I decided to run the envelopes and let them dry. Finally I ran the insides of the cards the next day. Everything was running perfectly until then. Because of coming back and forth and using the press after other students have, none of my measurements and buttons on the press are the same. I went back and saw where students have messed with knobs and clips that hold the paper on the roller and have loosened and moved things around. Also, people have not taken the time to clean up as well as they should. So many of my prints have speckles or smears from brayers not properly cleaned and so on. This card has been started and stopped so many times that the inks are different shades because of them curing, and also, people mixing in their brayers and scrappers changing the consistency and color all during this week of time.
I feel like I have spent countless hours trying to perfect this card, and it just looked like I can’t line up anything or mix ink to save my life. I know what has happened, but does the final person getting the card? Do they know about all my struggles and mishaps? When I set up the design on the press bed, it was sound and everything was flush and perfect. A simple thing like a loose clip has shifted my paper and ruined almost every inside to my card.
As a designer and creator of this artwork, I know I am responsible for my work and the outcome. My biggest fear is that now I give these crooked cards to the teacher who bought them and what will he think? When he mails these cards out, I can just hear someone looking at this and saying how sloppy I must be or jeez how hard could this be. I know I can’t go up and rattle off all these excuses about how the press wasn’t working right or a student mixed my black and orange ink so that is why my ink is muddy. I wouldn’t anyway, for that is immature, unprofessional, and no one gives a shit anyway. The recipient or client doesn’t give a damn and all they see is that final product. Students seeing my struggles on my card told me others know this is letterpress and this isn’t a print off off the computer. All my type was set by hand and all my imagery hand carved. They told me if anyone asks, my concept is a little crooked so it was meant to look like that. This just doesn’t sit well with me. The fact that my name is on all these cards even more so emphasizes the fact that I made these and they are a reflection of my work and my craft.
I feel as if I will hand these over with a heavy heart. We have to pass out our cards to our classmates for a card exchange. I try not to think of what they think of me when they see my crooked cards. I try and realize that they have seen my other work and know that I am a great designer. Honestly, they can throw my card away if they want. I know that I put everything in this card that I could, and I just feel like I have bad luck sometimes. Either that, or I think too much. In a bad way, I hope they shared some of my struggles too and we all have a laugh and move on. Time and time again this is not the case, and I end up looking incompetent, or as if I rushed this the night before. If only they knew the weeks, days, and hours I put into my work.
The envelopes of all things are the part I love the most. They are actually a happy accident. After receiving the envelopes in the mail, I realized that the back flap was way longer than I was expecting. I thought I was doomed because I wanted to use some of my imagery on the card on the back of the envelope so that I wouldn’t interfere with postal codes and kept the front clear. All the blocks I had were way too big to fit comfortably. So I decided to reinforce my theme of the Headless Horseman and actually decapitate one of my animals. It worked perfectly. Maybe I like these so much because they are so simple and the concept is so strong. I also didn’t have any issues with these go figure.
Below are some shots of the cards. Later I will take and upload pictures of the press room and type room. It really is a cool place but I just wish others would take care of it and respect it as it should be. Please note the pictures are not the studio quality my viewers are use to. I merely set up a quick shot so that you may see the cards as quickly as possible after wading through all this blubbering if you took the time to read my thoughts above. Because of this monstrous effort I do believe things happen for a reason and something good might come out of this situation. Only time will tell I am afraid. Also I just remembered, I wondered if anyone noticed the irony of my last name and this theme for my card. At recess during Halloween time when I was little, the delightful little children use to call me Ichabod Crane on the playground. Here is my tribute to the legend of Sleepy Hollow and to the long lost Ichabod Crane.
